Sunday, January 18, 2009

By mutual agreement

The bedroom door will go back to being firmly closed.

Rosa explains: That woman is just so damn needy. My fat sister may feel differently but if I've been sleeping all day I am not going to lie in one spot all night and 'snuggle', whatever that is. But it's all about her - sleep, sleep, sleep. We've done our best, we've already got her spending most of the day asleep on the sofa with us but she still insists on sleeping at night. It's unreasonable. And she yells at us if we as much as move.

And then she really went and did it. Talk about extreme provocation. An expensive wool rug from Pakistan by her bed. What was she thinking? It stands to reason that I was going to spend all night alternatively kicking the shit out of it and chewing bits off it. Then she had the gall to complain. I mean - rug or cat? Rug or cat? Why would you even care about the rug?

So Mits and I had a quiet chat and we've decided to overnight in the office. We can still help her get up by banging on the door and yelling at 6am but being expected to actually spend the night in there? No more. Forget it. Especially since she's started eating carbs again.

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Monday, January 05, 2009

More bedtime trauma

We've had the pushing me out of bed, we've had the forcing me into the splits. The latest manoeuvre is known as the straitjacket. This is produced by one cat on one side of me and the other on the other, both on top of the covers. This has the effect of stretching the covers so tightly over me that I am completely unable to either change position or move my arms.

In the ensuing silence, if you really concentrate, you can hear the sound of feline sniggering.

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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Whatever it was, I didn't do it