I've been bad

Very bad. I am clearly in the dog house.

Over the past 2 days, I have found cat poo on the guest bed, on the kitchen mat, in the office and in the hall. And of course neatly placed next to the litter tray.

Clearly I've done something to offend. Would anyone like to guess what it is, because I don't know.

The credit crunch bites

Tragic news about the British economy. The UK's monopoly manufacturer of litter tray liners has gone under, leaving a national shortage of everything other than 'medium'. Here at Elephant Towers the incontinence sisters require 'extra-large'. As if cleaning the litter tray wasn't bad enough already.

Real life versus still life

The artistic ideal - Cat with tulips - Elizabeth Blackadder





The sad reality - Cat with tulips - Rosa Luxemburg Elephant

Morning

It starts at round about 5.30am - the sound of claw on gloss paint and insistent wailing. Eventually, I stagger out of bed and let them in.
Mits: claw, claw, claw (=let me under the covers)
GSE: lifts covers
Mits: eww, I'm not going in there

repeat sequence about 30 times till one of 3 things happens. GSE's shoulder dislocates again, Mits finally gets under the covers or Rosa nips in ahead of Mits and lies there looking spiteful.

evening

The cats have taken to hiding under the bed at bedtime in order to avoid being slung out of the bedroom. Unfortunately for them, they are unable to resist the lure of the feathery stick - I only have to open the drawer in which it is stored and they appear, at which point they get evicted with a 'goddamn I fell for it AGAIN' expression on their faces.

Further oppressed by the catriarchy

We've settled on a compromise - they can come into the bedroom after 6.30am. This morning a squabble broke out about who got to go under the covers first and they started fighting next to my head. I got kicked in the face.

The whole point of cats rather than men is that that sort of thing isn't supposed to happen any more.

Oppressed by the catriarchy

Actually, nothing in particular has happened. They're even behaving at night. I just had to use the pun in the title as soon as I thought of it.