Weeps with exhaustion

I'm so damn tired I can't be bothered to think of a noise for this one:
a deeply humiliated looking cat trying ineffectually to bury the poo it has accidentally done right next to your pillow at 2am.

I won't forget that smell in a hurry.

I can't remember the last night of undisturbed sleep I had.

Nocturnal noises

bssshhhhrrrr - the sound that a person of delicate sensibilities makes at 3am when, realising that her lack of opposable thumbs make toilet paper a bit of a problem, she uses my cream bedroom carpet as a substitute.

potpotpotpotpotpot - paw on carpet approaches, sleep recedes

hehhhhh - "your very existence is disturbing my slumber, other cat, so go to hell forthwith"

schllrrrpppSCRONCH - " your ear will provide a useful receptacle, should I drool too much while doing my pedicure"

slapslapslap - the sound of paw on naked flesh, roughly translated as, "I want to get under the covers but can't lift them, so wake up and do it for me."

OH PURR OH PURR OH PURR - "thank you. What, you can't get back to sleep?"

thud, crash - repeated jumping onto chest of drawers and knocking any surface items on the floor

SHADTHEFACKUP - the elephant awakes

You know you are overweight

When you stand on your wooden scratching post and it breaks clean in half.

Yes, well that lasted

Serious sleep deprivation all round.