Nocturnal noises

bssshhhhrrrr - the sound that a person of delicate sensibilities makes at 3am when, realising that her lack of opposable thumbs make toilet paper a bit of a problem, she uses my cream bedroom carpet as a substitute.

potpotpotpotpotpot - paw on carpet approaches, sleep recedes

hehhhhh - "your very existence is disturbing my slumber, other cat, so go to hell forthwith"

schllrrrpppSCRONCH - " your ear will provide a useful receptacle, should I drool too much while doing my pedicure"

slapslapslap - the sound of paw on naked flesh, roughly translated as, "I want to get under the covers but can't lift them, so wake up and do it for me."

OH PURR OH PURR OH PURR - "thank you. What, you can't get back to sleep?"

thud, crash - repeated jumping onto chest of drawers and knocking any surface items on the floor

SHADTHEFACKUP - the elephant awakes